I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
