He disabled his match.com account in front of me
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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