i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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