just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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