I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
We have started to decorate penises.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
