I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
