i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
