She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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