Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
