I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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