is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
