How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
