Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
cat food counts as protein by the way
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Can I color on your dick again?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
