Only a mothe r could love this liver
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
