That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
