The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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