mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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