dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
