John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
