i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
