But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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