She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
