Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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