you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
