Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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