Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
