I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
