Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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