dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
We don't watch enough power rangers
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
