what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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