I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
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