Grow some girl-balls and come out already
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
