So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
