I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
