so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
