I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
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