So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
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