That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
