google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
