how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
