But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
