hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
