id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
