He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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