I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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