from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I had to cum in my sink.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
