Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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