So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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