do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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