So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I party with great urgency now.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
