Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Can you bring me the toilet please
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Randomize
